A Collection of Dog and Cat Jokes

Most dogs like to have fun with a good meaty bone. But have you ever wondered whether dogs have a funny bone? Dogs can certainly be funny. They love to play, and they have a knack for helping us take life a little less seriously. But wondering if dogs have a sense of humor may be more a question of recognition than definition.

Being playful is often associated with having a sense of humor. Not all breeds are the same, and some are typically more playful than others, according to Psychology Today. Some dogs seem to play tricks on their people (or other animals) on purpose. And they feed off of the attention they get for their antics, even if it isn’t always totally positive.

Whether or not there is enough scientific evidence to say for sure if pets have a sense of humor, we know without a doubt that we benefit from the joy and humor they bring to our lives every day. In their honor, we’ve put together a collection of jokes about dogs and cats sure to bring a smile to your face.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

A friend you can count on.

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?

It was a Boxer.

Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?

Because it was a hot dog.

When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get?

A cockerpoodledoo!

When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?

Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.

Three boys see a fire engine with a dog go by and discuss what his job is. ‘Crowd control?’ says one boy. ‘He’s the mascot.’ says the second boy. The third boy nods sagely: ‘He finds fire hydrants.’

I wanted to see lots of animals at the zoo, but they only had one small dog.

It was a Shih-Tzu.

What did the hungry dalmatian say after his meal?

“That hit the spots!”

What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth.

How can you tell if you have a lazy dog?

He only chases parked cars.

What’s a cat’s favorite color?


Why can’t cats play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

She had mittens.

How many cats can you put into an empty box?

Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

“Let us prey.”

Why was the cat so small?

Because it only ate condensed milk!

Why are cats good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!